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Now What?
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Jan. 31st, 2008 | 11:42 am
mood: 
worried
As most of you know by now, I'm planning to move back to Canada this summer. I left Canada to teach ESL in 2001.
One reason I started planning to move back this year is because at my contract renewal in 2006, my boss told me that new Immigration laws made it impossible for someone with my type of VISA (I have the usual “Specialist in the Humanities” working VISA that most English teachers get to work in Japan.) to renew a work contract more than three times. (My contract is renewed annually. I signed my original in 2004. So I renewed in 2005, and 2006. The 2007 renewal would be the 3rd.)
This sounded. . . odd at the time. There are a number of teachers at my company who have been here for ages. But when your boss says “We can't renew your contract after your next renewal,” you just sorta accept it. You start making other plans. I planned to stay as long as I could (until August, 2008. . . according to my boss) with my company. I really like working with them. My salary is competitive. My schools are AWESOME. The office staff really take care of me. My wee little car is kept in tip top shape with shakens, seasonal tires, and all maintenance paid for on the company's dime. They also pay for my gas to drive to school, my insurance and the lease. Broken appliances are replaced promptly and at no charge to me (provided I didn’t break the thing through reckless ax throwing or something). If I have a problem or question, the staff rush around to help me out. The company is generally considered to be the best English school in the city. Of course, some people would disagree with that ranking. But some people always disagree.
So if I had to leave my company and stay in my city, I'd have to find work at a company that I'm pretty sure would not be as good. So really, I'd want to change cities. For the expense and general mendokusai factor of changing cities in Japan, I might as well move home. I knew I had to go home eventually. This seemed like a good time to make a break and chuck it in as a TEFL teacher. I don’t want to teach forever. I love what I do now, but I can see that in time. . .it will lose its charm as a profession.
Last summer (2007), I renewed my contract for (what I assumed was) the last time. I was actually really nervous. In the previous year, there had some. . .complications. . . with teachers leaving . . .sooner than they had expected. I thought the company might be doing some sort of clear out. I was a little worried that my contract wouldn’t be renewed.
When I sat down with my boss, he started talking to me about Smap. His daughter was really upset because she'd gone to the con at Tokyo Dome in 2006 and Kimura had SAID, “See you next year!” But there was no tour in 2007. Kimura had LIED!!! This filled me with glee on several levels. First, I get a sick satisfaction when people hate on Mr. Prefect-sexy-I-can-do-anything-dreamy Kimura Takuya. Secondly . . .noone who STARTS a conversation with me about Smap is going to END that conversation with “Oh! By the way, you're fired.” I’m not a very religious person, but I do believe in a general order to the universe. THAT order doesn’t occur. EVER.
I renewed. And my boss started explaining that the new law meant that I could not renew my contract more than three times SINCE the new law came into effect. Since the law began in 2005, I could renew in 2006, 2007 AND 2008. Say what now? That is really different from what had been explained to me in 2006. In 2006, he had told me “Many teachers go on to get a master's degree. Is that something yoooou’re planning to do too?” In a way that made me feel like “Hint hint. Wink wink. Pack your bags.”
However, I had already told my family that I was planning to come home in 2008. There was much rejoicement. And promises of puppies and other bribe-y type things. (For the record: My parents cannot buy my love. But they can TRY!!) So I told my boss that I was certain that I only wanted to renew until 2008.
I started getting ready to move home.
By “get ready,” I mean: save NO money, have several panic attacks about the personal/social implications of moving back home with mummy and daddy, have several more panic attacks about such issues as a) I don't know how to buy a car, b) when I left, the unemployment rate in my hometown was one of the highest in the country, c) am I prepared to be a student again? d) I will no longer be foreign and exotic, e) yeah . . about living at my parents' house . . .THE WATER FREEZES IN THE WINTER!
By “get ready,” I mean: save NO money, have several panic attacks about the personal/social implications of moving back home with mummy and daddy, have several more panic attacks about such issues as a) I don't know how to buy a car, b) when I left, the unemployment rate in my hometown was one of the highest in the country, c) am I prepared to be a student again? d) I will no longer be foreign and exotic, e) yeah . . about living at my parents' house . . .THE WATER FREEZES IN THE WINTER!
Oh yeah. I also applied to college. So there is one actual “get ready” thing. Everything else . . .not so much “getting ready” as it was “messing about and making things more difficult than they actually are.” Great.
My parents have done their best to assuage most of my fears.
It seems lots of people are moving back home these days. All their friends have one kid or another back with them. And most of them don't like their kids as much as my parents like me. Plus, my parents are retired and are travelling for 6 months of the year, so living in their house won't be so bad.
Things in Sudbury have really changed. The mines have really opened up again, so all employment sectors are booming. Real estate prices are skyrocketing because so many people are moving here.
Buying a car is NOT that complicated. I don't need to buy one on the first day back.
The water probably won't freeze when I'm there because I'll be there using it. “But leave a tap running all winter just in case. And if it freezes, you can join a gym and shower there. That's what we did!” Greeeeeat. Like I said…they could only assuage MOST of my fears.
It seems lots of people are moving back home these days. All their friends have one kid or another back with them. And most of them don't like their kids as much as my parents like me. Plus, my parents are retired and are travelling for 6 months of the year, so living in their house won't be so bad.
Things in Sudbury have really changed. The mines have really opened up again, so all employment sectors are booming. Real estate prices are skyrocketing because so many people are moving here.
Buying a car is NOT that complicated. I don't need to buy one on the first day back.
The water probably won't freeze when I'm there because I'll be there using it. “But leave a tap running all winter just in case. And if it freezes, you can join a gym and shower there. That's what we did!” Greeeeeat. Like I said…they could only assuage MOST of my fears.
Recently . . I've really been getting excited about going home. I will be fluent in the language. I will be literate. Canadian houses have insulation. The school I have applied to will have HEAT. I can buy pain killers at the 7-11. Christmas with my family. The pets. My friends from high school. Do you realize that with my friends from high school . . .I am not the “sukebe” one? I'm vanilla! My potty mouth is NOTHING compared to what my girls will blurt out in an otherwise mild conversation. It's HOME! I've been away from it for a long time.
So YAY!! I'm going home!!!
Yesterday, I get this email:
Dear Mindy,
I hope this finds you Genki.
We had a meeting at ○○○ board of education on Monday.
Here are some comments from them regarding your performance at ○○○.
All the schools you are teaching at really like your teaching philosophy and style
very much. There is no complaint at all. All of them would like you to stay until
March next year.
I was wondering if you would be interested in extending you contract period
AT LEAST for another 6 months (until March 2009) so that we can meet their
anticipation.
Please let me know whether this would be possible at all.
Thank you,
Mr. Crazy-Boss-man
Your Company
This is indeed a very flattering mail. It would be a lie to say that I am not a sucker for flattery. Granted, I lie all the time. Whatevs. The point is that I am very flattered by this. Professionally flattered.
Mad teaching-skills. I have them. Go, me!
And now I feel guilty. Like I'll be leaving them in a bind if I selfishly move home.
I am starting to wonder if I should stay the extra six months. Remember the “no money” I have saved? Six extra months would give me a chance to save “some money.” Money, though not everything, is certainly something.
This has complicated my life in several ways. School years in Japan seem to have been designed to screw around with international students and English teachers who want to move back to Canada and return to college. Going home in March or April of next year means I'll have to wait until September to start school. Which is fine except I need to work and really don’t have many useable skills to get a good job in my city. We don’t need so many TESL teachers. I have a BA in Anthropology. I haven't worked in Canada since 2001. I've never had a full time job in Canada. I think what I'd be looking at is 5 months of working in a call centre. Which is fine. But I don't want to work in a call center. I don’t know what I want to do, but I am 100% certain that I don't want to work in a call centre.
An extra six months in Japan would mean another winter in Japan. One thing that has kept me sane this year is the knowledge that this is my LAST winter here. No more kerosene. No more paper thin walls. No more freezing at work. No more huddling under blankets in the teachers room as they turn off the heat and throw open all the windows while the children clean. Yes, Sudbury winters are waaaaay worse than Tochigi winters (Hello, -40. Hello, 3m of snow.) But we dress for it. We heat for it. We insulate for it. It's cold OUTSIDE. But the cold stays outside where it belongs. (Unfortunately, the cold also occasionally take the water main to my parents' house hostage. But I could do a whole series of rants about that.)
Saving money in Japan means that I would have to give up doing a lot of what makes living in Japan so much fun. My hobbies. My addictions. They are not cheap. They are shiny and pretty. But they are not cheap. Would it be worth hanging out here for an extra six months (over the winter) and not be able to go to heaps of concerts? Or impulse shop? Or impulse shot AT concerts?
I love my job. I love my schools. I love my students. I may very well love my attractive coworkers. They all seem to love me too. Although the attractive coworkers could love me a bit more. I have lots of good friends here (although most of whom live far away or are about to live far away). I have my own apartment and a free car. I have pink curtains, a silver canopy over my bed and a leopard print area rug in my living room. I LIKE my lifestyle. An extra six months of that is very tempting.
Enough!
I'm done whinging about this for now.
I shall soothe my frazzled nerves with some LOL cats.
Ahm in ur LJ. Beena dwama kween.
Comments {26}
From:Date: Jan. 31st, 2008 04:28 am (UTC)
Link
I completely understand the fear of moving back and starting all over there, in fact you can probably expect to see a very similar sounding post over on my journal soon! I guess it all boils down to, while you've been thinking over all those points (which are completely valid) do you want to stay here for another 6 months? Would you truly be able to save money for that extra period of time?
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From:Date: Feb. 1st, 2008 12:08 am (UTC)
Link
sigh
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From:Date: Jan. 31st, 2008 04:38 am (UTC)
Link
INSERT HELPFUL ADVICE HERE...^_^;
Let me think on it a bit and maybe I can be of more help to you!!!
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From:Date: Feb. 1st, 2008 12:09 am (UTC)
Link
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From:Date: Jan. 31st, 2008 05:15 am (UTC)
Link
I'm so sorry for not being able to give any good inputs, my brain refused to work...>_<...
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From:Date: Feb. 1st, 2008 12:09 am (UTC)
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From:Date: Jan. 31st, 2008 06:51 am (UTC)
Link
On the other hand, if you go back as planned, will you regret not staying? Have you been accepted to the school you want to go to yet? Will your parents disown you if you don't show up in the summer? (I'm guessing 'no' on that last one, but you never really know). These are questions that require thought.
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From:Date: Feb. 1st, 2008 12:16 am (UTC)
Link
Staying in Japan and NOT playing fun-fun whee might make Japan a much crummier place. When I lived in Chiba, I saved a lot of money. I hated Japan. Granted, I wasn't at a job I loved or had as many great friends. But playing and having fun in Japan is expensive! At least...the games I play are expensive.
But once I go back...I probably won't be able to come back to Japan again anytime soon. This really will be goodbye.
Do I want to stay in Japan until I hate it again? Leave on a high?
Argh!!
I should write down a list of pros and cons. Make a budget for myself. shoooooould. Why does my weekend seem to involve so much...THOUGHT now??
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From:Date: Jan. 31st, 2008 09:16 am (UTC)
Link
Anyhoodles, because I'm selfish, I'd want you to stay until March 2009!!! This gives me more chance to see you! And I really do want to see you! (Stalking Mindy is better than stalking anyone else, yeah!). Teeheehee. Plus, the more you stay there, the more you can plan your wedding there with QT sensei and then invite me so then I can make you the giant ribbon love heart!
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From:Date: Feb. 1st, 2008 12:17 am (UTC)
Link
QT SENSEI!!! Maybe I can convince him that the only way I can stay is if he marries me. Hmmm...
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From:Date: Jan. 31st, 2008 09:21 am (UTC)
Link
I really don't have any helpful advice without being kind of selfish...because if I had my way you'd be staying and I would have someone I know and like relatively close by for another year!
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From:Date: Feb. 1st, 2008 12:20 am (UTC)
Link
Erm. Like I said to dontcallmeboo...don't worry about being selfish. I'm selfish all the ding-dong-day!
Having good friends here is one of the reason it's hard to leave. *blames friends*
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From:Date: Jan. 31st, 2008 10:29 am (UTC)
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From:Date: Feb. 1st, 2008 12:23 am (UTC)
Link
I don't have any jobs lined up back home. I have applied for college though. If I go home in August, I can start school in September. If I go home in March...I'll have to scramble and find a job. Grr...
I know things will be fine whatever. I'm just trying to optimize my fine.
Thanks for the hugs.
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From:Date: Jan. 31st, 2008 10:36 am (UTC)
Link
Hmmm money or college. MONEY OR COLLEGE!
You already have yourself an answer!
I love my job. I love my schools. I love my students.
*hopes things are REALLY that easy* Good luck in your decision making!
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From:Date: Feb. 1st, 2008 12:26 am (UTC)
Link
Money or college SEEMS like an easy choice. But will it actually be that much money?
Thanks for the support!!
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From:Date: Jan. 31st, 2008 11:34 am (UTC)
Link
I'd say go home. you've had so much adventure, and great on you for having a good time with people and school :) but you should move on to your new adventure that you were telling me so excitedly about!
do it do it!
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From:Date: Feb. 1st, 2008 12:27 am (UTC)
Link
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marcasitevah
Date: Jan. 31st, 2008 11:59 am (UTC)
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I don't actually have much else to add. It is totally up to you. Think about it this way: Which decision will you regret more? I know it is hard to pick that right now, but take some time and think about it a little.
Japanese school years are dumb. One of my students said that she just couldn't imagine school starting any other time. I was like "neither can the rest of the world you crazy lady! AUGUST/SEPTEMBER!! PS - We alslo believe in insulation kthnx"
This is also one of two ladies who told me that there is no racism in Japan. hahahahahahaha
There was some other silly comment from a student I wanted to tell you but I have forgotten now.
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From:Date: Feb. 1st, 2008 12:30 am (UTC)
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I don't think I'll regret either decision. I seem to have a great capacity for being happy wherever I am. I suck that way.
Isn't it amazing what some people can't imagine?? Next week tell her that you sometimes wear your shoes in the house. See if she runs away screaming.
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marcasitevah
Date: Feb. 1st, 2008 02:19 am (UTC)
Link
How soon do you have to tell your office if you are going to stay? Is it easy to defer your studies? This is my personal opinion but if you are worried about finding a job to sustain you between March and when school starts then I say go home in August and start to school. As much as I would love to have you here for longer (even though I will be far far away) it sounds like it is more stress to stay.
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From:Date: Feb. 1st, 2008 02:25 am (UTC)
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I don't think it'll be hard to find a job. I just think it'll be hard to find a job I like. The call centres are BOOMING. Three of my good friends from home all work at the same call centre company.
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From:![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif)
marcasitevah
Date: Feb. 1st, 2008 02:35 am (UTC)
Link
If you are afraid of finding a job you want or like to do, then I say go home in August. As much as I want you to stay and pick on me and go to cons with me and stuff, you should do what is best for you.
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From:Date: Feb. 1st, 2008 03:52 am (UTC)
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I'm confident that I can pick on you from Canada. Granted, I'll still prbably need a part time job while I study. So I might still be at a call centre. But it gives me a little more...flexibility. Or at least it feeeeels like it does.
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From:Date: Jan. 31st, 2008 01:20 pm (UTC)
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It must be a hard decision to make, but I had a similar experience when I was coming back to Japan. I was debating whether to stay in the U.S. or go back to Japan... as you can see, I chose the latter and I actually don't regret it at all. Of course I *miss* the U.S. and all my friends there, but in the end, home is where the heart is, yo. I'm really happy that I'm back living with my family and knowing what's going on; glad that I can eat the food I like and watch TV shows I enjoy, etc.
I'm not suggesting that you should go back to Canada in August since I'll be sad if you do :( but it's really up to you; whatever you choose to do, just don't regret it and enjoy what you get!! Haha I'm so not helpful... sorry.
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From:Date: Feb. 1st, 2008 12:35 am (UTC)
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I know what you mean about the call of home. I do WANT to go home. I don't want to stay until August 2009. If I stay to finish the school year, that's it. I'm toast. (Unless QT Sensei proposes!) But an extra six months...not too much longer. But maybe long enough to get a few extra grand in the bank before I go home and become...gainfully unemployed. As charming as "sponging off my parents" might seem...
I'll miss you too. Granted...I only see you once or twice a year as it is...
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